Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Santa Strikes with an Air of Professionalism

Okay - so I'm not one to do giveaways because usually that means I'm stuck following through with something I don't always follow through with. But this time, I think I can actually handle it. You see, I've recently taken up sewing and I really like it (except now that I have 12 gazillion projects to finish before Christmas...now Robbie says the only profession I could handle right now is "Pirate" because of my potty mouth). Anyhoo...if you come up with the world's best caption for the above photo, you will get something fabulous from me! (How RAD is that?)

Here is what we've come up with so far.

"If families are forever, I'm calling it quits."

"First time parents...(Insert MAJOR Eye Roll)"

"EmCat seems to be looking near the camera, but didn't quite make it."

"Happy Hanukkah...I guess we'll be Jewish this year cuz Christmas just isn't working out for us."

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

On Sabbatical...

Wow - are my calculations correct? Has it been that long since I've posted something?

So aside from - working full time, raising my baby and trying (oh how I try) to be a good wife and mother, getting in a rollover car accident on the way to Lake Powell in August and being admitted to the hospital, being the sole person in charge of the world's biggest promotion for a chain of 40 stores where no one (okay so one person and my husband - Oh How I LOVE YOU Both!) came to my aid - even though I asked and asked, going to the ER for a kidney stone the size of a lima bean (and as dense as my bones) and eventually getting it blasted (I passed peppercorn size stones btw), getting the music ready and performing the Primary Program for Sacrament Meeting and jumping right into getting ready and performing two (yes - you read right) Primary Christmas Programs, singing in the stake and ward choirs with extra rehersals every time I turn around and taking on 5 gazillion crafty projects for Christmas Presents - I've been kind of lazy.

I'm sorry to the two of you who check this blog for not being there for you...I'll be back soon I promise. In the mean time this face might cheer you up!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

You know You Love It

...but I totally don't.

I've decided to come out of the closet and let a few things off my chest. I've tried to conform and just go with the flow, but I can't live a lie any longer. No I'm not a lesbian, there are just a few things I can't stand that the rest of the world loves. I gotta be me, I just gotta be me...

Thanks Busy Bee for the idea!

1. Dr. Pepper - What is it with Dr. Pepper. Ugh - this stuff is DIS-GUST-ING!
2. Phantom of the Opera - Do you remember when "Phantom" was all the rage? Yeah - I hated it back then too.
3. Scrapbooking - I know y'all are going to hate me for this, but I can't stand scrapbooking. I think it would be cool if I had the patience to sit down and cut out cute little pieces of paper and arrange them on a page with a photo or two. But, what I don't get is why you would want to put like one photo on a page that could hold like six. Even now - I'm just baffled.

4. Twilight - Okay,to be fair, I haven't cracked the book, but I have seen the movie and I don't get the hype. It was an extremely UN-remarkable movie and I have no desire to read the books. Yeah - don't hate me.

5. "I'm saying a prayer for you and you should send this to 10 people or you'll have bad luck for 7 years" e-mails - I know I'm not the only one who hates "those" kinds of forwards. But my question is this, why do you still send them?

6. Blog Music - Can I just say that I hate, hate, hate music on blogs? No? Well I just did. It just gets in the way when I'm listening to my own music, I click on a blog and someone's blog music interferes with - well - everything! I'm so glad you like your music, but I don't want to have to listen to George Straight or the Jonas Brothers every time I click on your blog. Sorry - I just don't.

7. And last but not least - FACEBOOK - All I have to say is this...Stop inviting me to join - it's never going to happen.

Now it's your turn...What is it that you can't stand that the rest of the world loves?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Time Keeps on Ticking...Kinda Like Turrets

I wish I took the time to WRITE more. I can't seem to find the time to do much of anything these days. Motherhood and a full time job seem to utterly consume me as of late. I'm really trying not to feel overwhelmed...you know...take one bite of my elephant at a time. I find, however, that stress and EmCat aren't compatible bedfellows. We two go together like chocolate ice cream and asparagus OR OJ's hand and a bloodstained glove (the glove don't fit, you must acquit).

The funny thing is that I was completely BORED on bed rest and maternity leave. The minute I was able to go back to work, I was so blissfully HAPPY. I didn't even mind lugging my then 12 lb bundle of joy with me everywhere I went. He was (and is) a super cute diversion to the daily grind of things and has been able to break through barriers that even I, the queen of friend-making and chit-chat, couldn't seem to disassemble on my own. The PROBLEM is NOT that he is now close to 17 lbs and cuter than ever. The problem IS my kid is learning from the master...he has found his lungs and has decided to use them. For some reason he's decided that he needs to make himself known to the world...at the TOP of his lungs. Those of you who grew up with me and went to junior high with me and...okay...high school...oh yeah and college...um...and served a mission with me and...uh...knew me at any other time in my life, know that this girl LOVES a good chat with anyone who will listen or even a nice little song at the top of her LUNGS.

The little DAWG-man has recently decided that his DIAPHRAGM is his new best friend and that he needs to exercise it with so much INTENSITY that one can't help but laugh or be distracted by or not listen to their vitamin rep while she's trying with much passion and heart to sell you some DHA powder because she knows deep down in her SOUL that the DHA powder will stop all wars and create world peace. HOWEVER , you aren't thinking of WORLD-PEACE-DHA-POWDER because the cute baby in the stroller is yelling to get your attention and you'd much rather make funny faces and encourage him in this destructive behavior because he's such a cute little bugger AND who needs World-Peace-DHA-Powder anyhow!?!?!?! So SEE YA AROUND vitamin-girl-with-the-very-cute-extremely-loud-baby.

Oi...I'm tired.

Here's a little taste of his cuteness...this doesn't even begin to illustrate how loud he truly is!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Living With My Addiction

As the work day winds down, my phone buzzes with a text message from Robbie saying..."3 more stops" or "1 stop then I'm getting gas. Be there in 45" or "2 more stops. I can't wait to see you." Every time I get a message like this my heart leaps and the butterflies begin. I truly am excited to see the man I had lunch with just a few short hours earlier. Those few hours without him were utter agony.

When Robbie is home I tell him I love him 147 times in a normal day and 376 times on days I'm feeling extra sentimental. While he sits at the computer typing his e-mails I put my arm around him, kiss his neck and inhale a little bit of his scent. When he's laying in bed fast asleep I snuggle up to him until he gently asks me to give him a little space so he can sleep.

What can I say...Robbie is my heroine.

It's hard to say when this addiction started, but I could probably pinpoint it to the time he walked straight over to me and introduced himself. I'd like to think that I caught his eye while standing in a sea of cute, single, Mormon girls. But I was the only girl in a group of Lord-of-the-Rings-Loving Nerds. He had no choice but to think I was cute. He had to ask me out that night. If he hadn't, he would have had to admit that he was like the rest of the guys in the group - so preoccupied with Star Wars that they wouldn't really notice a girl unless she was wearing a long white robe and a braided doughnut on each side of her head.

Since that time I was able to brainwash him into thinking it was a good idea to kiss me. After that - he had no choice but to marry me...I am, after all, the best kisser this side of the Mississippi.

For some reason, he's been able to live with my addiction for the last two years. He doesn't always understand why I am the way I am, but he loves me anyway. I'm in awe of this man who loves me despite all my crazy little idiosyncratic ways. He is patient, kind and above all an amazing husband and father. J-dawg lights up every time he walks into a room.

Happy (First) Father's Day Robbie. Here's to many more years of you having to live with my addiction.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


Tonight as I lay on my couch, cuddling close to my beloved Robbie, I uttered something that resonated deep in my soul..."I was born to be a mother." To which Robbie replied..."and to sing." There are so many uncertainties in my life right now - so many things I don't know. I don't know why J cries at certain times. I don't know what the future will hold. I worry about being a good mother, a good example, a good teacher but this I know:

I was born to be a mother.

I was born to sing.

At this point in my life, those two things go hand in hand. Each night as I rock my precious little baby to sleep - I sing. This poor kid won't know the standards like "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" or "Itsy, Bitsy Spider," but he'll certainly know "Don't Rain on My Parade," "Golden Slumbers" and "Come Rain or Come Shine." He's become my captive audience. Gone are the days of wishing and dreaming that I would someday make it big on Broadway. I prefer singing at the top of my lungs to a beautiful baby boy who looks into his mommy's eyes and sees the world.

As I reflect on the journey that has brought me to this point, I think about my beautiful friends and sisters who have yet to find that special one and have yet to be able to have the family they've been dreaming of their entire lives. To you I say that you were all born to be mothers. You were all born to sing.

I believe that we as women were all born with the characteristics of motherhood. We are special and beloved and blessed by God. He loves us and gives us the opportunities we so desired before we came to this earth. I know that if we look to Him and live our lives to our fullest potential, ours will be a joyful journey no matter the heartache - the pain, no matter the happiness -the laughter.

This Mother's Day I'd like to say to all women: May your day be full of joy and rejoicing no matter what your social status may or may not be, no matter how many children you may or may not have.

I love you friends. Have a special day.

Friday, April 17, 2009

More RandEM-CaTS - BabyStyle (with a little U2 sprinkled here and there)

"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..."
*sigh* Beginning Monday morning, I'm going to be considered a "Working Mom." Thankfully J-Dawg will be joining me and learning the tricks of the trade of selling Supplements. He's such a fast learner that I'm sure sometime soon he'll be out-selling me.

There are so many things I feel like I didn't accomplish while on Maternity Leave:
  • I definitely didn't master the art of having a clean home. Oi, you should see the mess the kitchen is in at this moment.
  • The baby book is sitting on my table STILL waiting to be written in.
  • Don't even talk to me about scrapbooking.
  • I haven't lost 40 pounds and, lets face it, I still look pregnant. Just the other day a lady almost asked me how far along I was. She saved herself by segueing into asking how old the baby is. Oh - and just before that my niece pointed to my stomach and asked me when the baby was coming out...everyone in the room snickered like they secretly agreed with her but would never say it to my face.
  • I haven't visited all the friends I've wanted to see and others I've wanted to be more acquainted with.
While I'm making lists here are the things I HAVE accomplished while on maternity leave:
  • I have managed to kiss my little baby-cakes AT LEAST 2,573 times per day.
  • J-Dawg and I have taken to walking the neighborhood and can successfully accomplish a 1.5 mile walk in one half hour...don't laugh - that's saying something after 3 months of bedrest.
  • I've been able to sing approximately 17.8 different songs to my kiddo each day. This kid is going to be a proficient in showtunes and lullabies.
  • I've been able to solicit AT LEAST 3,183 smiles from my baby per day.
  • I've gotten my baby to LOVE patty-cake.
  • Tummy time is a work in progress, but he's getting better.
  • I've successfully found a few traits and looks that are definitely Em-Cat even though this kid is my husband's mini-me.
  • I've managed to love this little bundle of joyful cuteness so much that it hurts.
  • I've actually become my mother. I can now successfully call myself an irrational worrier.
  • My son has begun singing along with me each time I belt out my rendition of "Close to You." Because let's face it...the angels really did get together and sprinkle golden starlight in his eyes of blue...

Oh you better believe I have my tickets...

...GA tickets too. Those are EXTREMELY difficult to come by. I plan on being right there, front and center, with my boys (Robbie and the rest of them - though little J-Dawg will have to be there in spirit).

Yesterday was a day of POO and Spit-up...
How can something this small and cute be so completely and utterly gross?

After a long day of this kid spitting up all over my clothes (I had to change outfits various times), I was sitting on the couch watching The Office with my incredibly handsome husband. All of a sudden I hear a rumbling in my little boy's pants. I decided to wait to change him when I smelled the poo-smell stronger than usual. Robbie looked over and declared, "Gross! He POOED all over you!"

I guess I shouldn't complain. My husband had it worse when J-Dawg was a newborn. Robbie was holding his nekked little body for a photo-shoot. Right after the photo was taken poo shot out into Robbie's unsuspecting hand (it (his hand) still hasn't gotten over it). I just thank the stars in heaven above that it wasn't me. I can totally see into the future and I'm definitely getting a vibe that I will be pooed on many times to come...Oh the joys of motherhood!

...off I go into the wild blue yonder of juggling work, a baby, a husband and LIFE. Wish me luck! It's going to be quite a ride and I've taken to throwing up on roller coasters.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Happy (late) Easter

This was sent to us by our Relief Society teacher. I hope you all had a nice Easter and may we remember the Savior's sacrifice more fully each day.


Saturday, April 4, 2009

April Fools

At about 4pm on April 1st I realized I hadn't done anything to FOOL Robbie. I come from a long line of April Foolers so I knew I had to do something. I was 97 1/2% sure I wasn't preggers, but in a pinch it was all I had to work with. I had a pregnancy exam and decided to take it into the bathroom and pee on it, you know, to make it LOOK real. The test of course came out negative. I put the most distraught look on my face that I could muster and walked into the living room where Robbie was sitting. Here's how it went:

Me: "Robbie..."

Robbie looks up from what he's doing and his eyes get super wide when he sees what I'm holding.

Me: "...um...I thought I'd be funny and take this test and...um..."

Robbie: His eyes get even wider and says..."NO WAY!"

Me: (Jumping up and down) "HA HA HA APRIL FOOLS!!!"

I knew I should have drawn it out a little more, but I can't keep a straight face for that long. The look on his face was absolutely priceless.

I called my parents and tried it on them, but they know me WAY too well and it took about a nanosecond for my mom to figure it out.

Of course I had to post it on my blog, because if my husband was naive enough to believe me, I just KNEW I could fool all of you...Whatev...the first two responses were:

Rach: "I'm on to you girl. APRIL FOOLS!!!"

K8: "nice try"

I find it UN-surprising that the first two who WEREN'T fooled had small children. I think April Fools Day is definitely for small children and parents who have said children are always playing and being played on April Fools Day.

It was quite funny to get a call the next day from my friend Stephanie who figured it out just before I said "hello." I thought it even more funny that my brother was fooled, because he grew up in the same household I did.

Okay - now put this out of your mind while I think of a way to get you next year...MMMMMMWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I Think I'm going to CRY!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! A mere 10 weeks after our little J-Dawg came into our lives, this is what I found out today...

I really think I'm going to cry.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Kreativ Awesomeness

Never in 1 million years (1 MILLION I tell you!) did I think I'd ever get an award. Thanks to my friend Evaly for giving it to me. I hope she doesn't think I'm a huge slacker since she gave it to me way back in January and I'm just now getting around to acknowledging it. I feel honored that she thinks this blog is "Kreativ" since she's really one of the most Kreativ people I know and ESPECIALLY since lately I've been putting ZERO effort into this blog-o-mine. All my time and effort have been going to this cute baby-cakes:

1. Copy the award to your site.
2. Link to the person from whom you received the award.
3. Nominate 7 other bloggers.
4. Link to those on your blog.
5. Leave a message on the blogs you nominate.

Here are my picks for "Kreativ"-ness:

Chloe, Stella, Fred - Oh if only I were as cool as K8 The River.

And Then There Were Three
- Sabrina's blog is always so cute and I love her cute little baby cakes.

My Chaos, My Bliss - Like Cecily needs more awards, but she really is fascinating to read.

Bee-Lissa's Shooting 40 - She hasn't updated in LIKE FOREVER, but hey she has ADD...most Kreativ people do you know.

Live, Laugh, Love - I love reading all of Patty's cool stories. She's a flight attendant - coolest job in the world - and has some pretty cool things to tell!

Dooleys4 - Rach's husband just came home from Afghanistan. It's been a very interesting (to say the least right Rach?) year to read about the goings on of a military wife.

Larson's Life Musings - The format of this blog alone is a reason to keep coming back to Rebecca's blog. Plus - it's delightful to read about her cute family.

What? Did I already choose SEVEN? I could go on and on, but I guess I'd better stop myself.

Congratulations to all who won!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I know I'm Obsessed...Roll with me folks.

I was listening to the new U2 album - No Line on the Horizon - and realized how much I love listening to words they use in their songs. Pure poetry people! (wow - I rock at alliterations) I thought I'd give you a list of my favorite lines from U2 songs and a quote here and there about or by U2.

  • "All the Spanish I know, I learned from an Irishman." - Referring to the beginning of the song Vertigo..."Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorce..." My friend's little sister said this one night when we were all hanging out. We actually put this quote on a T-shirt. I wish I could remember your name little sis - you're a genius.

  • "I waited patiently for the Lord/He inclined and heard my cry/He brought me up out of the pit/Out of the miry clay/I will sing, sing a new song." - 40, War

  • "I always knew I wanted to be a rock star." - Adam Clayton

  • "Can-You-Hear-Me-When-I-Sing/You're the reason I sing/You're the reason why the Opera is in me...A house still doesn't make a home/Don't leave me here alone" - Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. This line makes me cry every time.

  • "I was never particularly comfortable with the celebrity or fame thing. I don't like to draw too much attention to myself." - Larry Mullen Jr.

  • "Every beauty needs to go out with an idiot." - I'll Go Crazy if I Don't Go Crazy Tonight, No Line on the Horizon.

  • "Rock 'N' Roll is particular to this period of time. There was no precedent in musical history, because it is completely about electricity." - The Edge

  • "Don't theorize, realise, polarise/Chance, dance, dismiss, apologize." - Numb, Zooropa

  • "Music can change the world because it can change people." - Bono

  • "Here she comes/Beauty plays the clown/Here she comes/Surreal in her crown." - Miss Sarajevo, Passengers: Original Soundtracks 1

  • "They say that what you mock/Will surely overtake you/And you become a monster /So the monster will not break you." - Peace on Earth, All That You Can't Leave Behind

  • "Being in U2 is more like riding a runaway train, hanging onto it for dear life." - Larry Mullen Jr.

  • "She feels it every sensation/She's got a smile like salvation/She's got a baby at her breast/She knows big girls are best." - Big Girls Are Best, U2 7

  • "No I don't know why a man/Sees the truth but needs the lies." - Slow Dancing, If God Will Send His Angels (Single)

  • "Edge pleaded with me right at the start not to meet Bush." - Bono

  • "If the thundercloud/Passes rain/So let it rain/Rain down on me." - MLK, The Unforgettable Fire.

  • "Sweet the sin/But bitter the taste in my mouth/I see seven towers/But I only see one way out." - Running to Stand Still, Joshua Tree

  • "We may not be the most musically accomplished band in the history of rock 'n' roll but I think we are amongst the most original." - The Edge

  • "I'll see you again when the stars fall from the sky/And the moon has turned red over One Tree Hill." - One Tree Hill, Joshua Tree

  • "And kingdoms rise/And kingdoms fall/But you go on." - October, October

  • "Sessions are not exactly filled with laughter and joviality. Frequently we're being told how crap we are by Bono." - Adam Clayton

  • "A woman needs a man/Like a fish needs a bicycle." - Tryin' to Throw Your Arms Around the World, Actung Baby

  • "I've had enough of romantic love/I'd give it up, yeah, I'd give it up/For a Miracle..." - Miracle Drug, How to Dismantle an atomic Bomb

Oh how I could go on forever. You can learn a lot about a person by their favorite U2 quote. Now it's your turn. What is your favorite? It can be either from a song, from a speech or just about them.

Friday, March 6, 2009

I Suck as a U2 Fan!

My friend K8 had to forward this to me. I didn't even know they were on Letterman. I can't let having kids get in my way of my U2 obsession! ;-) It's pretty awesome though No?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yeah - it's my birthday and I'm telling the world about it. I'm not ashamed. I'm going to say to the world -"Hey world! I'm 33 today and I want you all to tell me how fabulous I am because - it's my birthday and I deserve to be showered with fabulous comments." In true blogger fashion, I'm going to tell you at least 33 fabulous things about me (because I'm narcissistic like that) and as my present you can say one nice thing about me in the comments section...actually if you want to say a mean thing about me then go ahead, but remember - that would be mean.

1. My 30th birthday was the worst day of my life because I thought that by turning 30 I would a) Never have the chance to get married and b) never have the chance to have children...Both of those things came true and I'm eatin' my words people.

2. I've had a crush on Larry Mullen Jr. since I was like 10.

Most people don't know who he is and if you don't - shame on you. He's the one who formed U2 everyone - NOT Bono. I told Robbie that I've loved Larry longer than I've loved him, but definitely not as much. This was my Christmas present and shows you how much my husband loves me:

3. When I was 21, I went to a Neil Diamond concert and found out which hotel he was staying at. I hung out in the lobby until his bus rolled in (that should be a line from a song) and screamed "I LOVE YOU NEIL" at the top of my lungs when I saw him. A security guard warned me that he'd have to escort me out if I got any closer to Mr. Diamond. I ignored him then I went and hugged Neil's bongo drummer...it was a great day. By the way - my friend and I were the only women there under the age of 47 & 1/2 and Neil kept giving us the "I love you" sign.4. I've given this man a handshake. If you don't know who he is - again - shame on you. He wrote one of the most beloved Christmas songs. He's a jazz legend people. It was an amazing experience and one that would have to be given it's own post to explain...

5. I went on a business trip to Spain and France all by myself and it was one of the funnest trips I've ever been on. I visited all the places I wanted to and didn't have to worry about anyone else. I seriously debated whether or not to backpack across Europe by myself after that and I don't know why I didn't...Great - now I'm bummed.

6. I'm somewhat of a daredevil (in the North American sense of course) and will try almost anything once. I've jumped off cliffs, eaten cow stomach and tongue and have time and time again left my comfort zone in order to try new things and face change in the...well...face (ie move by myself to California - specifically Long Beach which can be very scary).

7. I secretly think my husband can be a little overly cautious. I'm not sure why I'm writing this, because he's definitely going to be reading this tonight. I LOVE YOU ROBBIE!

8. I always get the winter blues which is partially why I've always been so happy to live in Southern California - because it's never winter here. I'm so happy to live in the land of eternal sunshine and only miss the snow when I get a hankering to go snowboarding.
9. I hiked the Subway in Zion National Park with some friends. My friend's friend's dad (get that?) insisted on going with us and slowed us down so much that we got stuck in the canyon overnight. They told us not to light fires, but we did anyway because we were STUCK IN A CANYON OVER NIGHT with nothing on but our swim suits and shorts (there are various parts where you have to wade through water up to your neck). The next morning, my friend's friend (can you tell I didn't like her?) totally got us lost and I almost fell off a cliff - yeah, she said she knew where she was going...I still haven't forgiven her.

10. During another Zion trip, I repelled down slot canyons with some friends and had a lovely time. Again we were running late and would've had to stay the night in the canyon again (why do I associate with people like this?) this time it was the Narrows. As we were rushing to get out of the canyon, a girl in our group was trying to find a short cut when she almost fell off a cliff. My friend almost fell off a cliff trying to save her. (I now can see why Robbie is so cautious...I've been really stupid.)

11. I have a blue dot on my forehead because this unnamed person *cough*Stephanie Graves*cough* and I were joking around in 9th grade math class. It got a bit sarcastic...okay it got a LOT sarcastic...and I threw out a comment that even got the teacher laughing. She was so embarrassed that all she could do was throw a pencil. It lodged itself into my forehead and broke off and from that time forth I've been cursed with a blue dot. I can't say I really liked Stephanie Graves after that. Should I mention that I hold grudges for decades?...Nah!

12. I hate green beans and gag at the sight or thought of them...even when I'm not pregnant.

13. I try to have a good attitude about things that are out of my control. I learned to do this on my mission in Uruguay, because I hated it for the first 6 months and had to decide to be happy.

14. I love Snowboarding.

15. I love Waterskiing.

16. After almost 3 years of working on it, I've almost memorized the piano piece "Clair de Lune" by Claude Debussey. I'm not the greatest pianist in the world so the mere fact that I can actually play it is a miracle in and of itself - because it's not the easiest piece in the world to learn.

17. I LOVE my calling in church (primary chorister) and feel so bad that I haven't been able to do anything about it for the past 4 months due to bedrest and having an infant who can't go out into groups.

18. My favorite color is purple (most days) and other days it's red.

19. In its prime, I was a closet "Saved by the Bell" fan.

20. My life is a musical. You might be able to say almost anything and I'll find a song to go with it.

21. On my mission, I was my companion's radio. They would request a song and I would sing it. Sometimes I would even dance for them.

22. My stake president was my OB and I didn't feel a bit weird about it...okay - sometimes I did...

23. I'm the 6th out of 7 children and my siblings call me the golden child - because that's what I am...I am golden. I wasn't the favorite per se - that title went to JJ (even though my mom denies having a favorite).

24. I'm my mother-in-law's favorite daughter-in-law...I won't mention the fact that I'm her only daughter-in-law.

25. When I was in single's wards in my 20's I was the FHE Freak-Show. I would do my impersonation of a fountain (I have a great slit in my teeth to spit water through) or belt out "Johnny One Note" (always a crowd pleaser).

26. Did I mention I LOVE attention?

27. I dated a guy who was once crowned the Utah State Yo-Yo Champ who LOVED wearing capes...yeah - one of the darker eras of my life. I'm so glad I didn't make THAT mistake!

28. My favorite place in the world is Deer Lake, Washington. It's heaven to me.

29. I met my Robbie 3 months after getting the answer to my prayers to drop everything in Utah and move to Southern California.

30. Even though Robbie and I sell different things, we have essentially the same geographical territory and have lunch together most days (that is when I am actually out in the field working).

31. Robbie kissed me on our 5th date on a beach at sunset...it couldn't have been more perfect.This was taken the day after Robbie first kissed me. Notice the rug burn on my chin...yeah - he needs to shave more!

32. I love this face more than life itself:

33. I love this face more than life itself. He is my light and my joy and makes me laugh and smile every day. He is the reason I get up every morning and the last thing I see before I close my eyes to sleep at night. He is my best friend. I love you Robbie.


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Good News!

If you're a member of the G-Fam super secret blog, go here for the good news! If you're not a member and want to be (as long as I know who you are), send me your e-mail...

Sunday, January 18, 2009


NEW YORK,NY Upon further investigation into the US Airways flight 1549 crash, new information has been obtained through anonymous sources. According to these sources, the Suicide Afgeesenistani Terrorists have brought down US Airways flight 1549, not innocent and freedom-loving geese. This information has been covered up by the US Government.

Using technology obtained from Hamas in the Geeza-Isreal engagement during the first few weeks of 2009, the terrorists have utilized Technical and Avian Armaments (T&A’s) that include stealth camouflage technologies which stimulate native migratory birds. In its infancy, this technology was limited in attack to land bound slow-moving objects.

Top secret footage has been acquired through connections with current and former American officials, outside experts, international nuclear inspectors and European and Israeli officials. This footage, as shown below, was known to be in the hands of terrorists ever since the 7 day Canadio-Hamas incident on the small Canadian fishing village of Gloznok in the early 1960’s. Though not to the level of technology that took down US Airways flight 1549, the following T&A was in its infancy and was limited directly to civilian and small land based vehicles.

The reality is that the military industrial complex of the Arab states has been hard at work and has now perfected attacks against US Military personnel and aircraft with the use of seagulls. This attack was sporadically documented by MTV in the 1980’s during the pop-music era. Legitimate media coverage was never given to the American public but was only encountered in covert Cold War operations via subliminal messaging throughout Asia, Europe, Africa, South America, Australia, North America, and Antarctica.

As seen above, this revelation of the new domestic security steps taken, according to George Bush, to “protect the homeland from the Axis of Evil,” seem to be nothing more than propaganda of the US Government to cover up the problem. This proves the theory that not only terrorist seagulls, but also terrorist geese are attacking our nation and its citizens at the full knowledge and participation of the US Government.

America is Under Attack!
*Hamas has refused to comment on this exclusive photo of US Airways Flight 1549 prior to release*

Editors Note: I, Em-Cat, am known as a field contributor/editor in the above article. My husband has been working on this piece for at least 36 hours straight, and even though it may be only funny in his head, it's been absolutely delightful to hear him giggle every 30 to 60 seconds as it has made its way from his brain to the page.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

RandEM-CATs - Pregnancy Style

I think I've just been enlightened. I've decided that whenever I have a crazy random thought or funny dream or I just want to get something off my chest, I'm going to give you a few "RandEM-CAT's" - clever title huh? Yeah - that's probably only clever in my head...

So without further ado, Here are a few RandEM's for your reading pleasure...

  1. What is UP with 80 degrees in January? I didn't think I'd be sweating like a pregnant cow in the MIDDLE OF JANUARY!!! Say a girl gets pregnant in oh - I don't know - April and thinks "ROCK ON! I don't have to suffer through the heat my last trimester because I'M DUE IN JANUARY!!!! Have I mentioned that it's JANUARY and it's 80 degrees AND I'm sweating and I'M DUE TOMORROW - TOMORROW FOLKS!!!! Okay - I think you've had enough of CAPS and exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!)

  2. If you know my real name isn't Em-Cat and you're one of my super-cool secret friends and you haven't thought to check my super-cool secret blog for a while, go here for the 411 on how my prego-self is doing. If you are all of the above and haven't gotten an invite to my super-cool blog let me know and I'll add you to my list of peeps.

  3. Have you checked out this blog? If you haven't and you love to get fun, clever ideas - I think it would be in your best interest to check it every day like me. Did I mention that I obsessively check blogs? Sometimes I check them like 3 times a day - that's how pathetic bed rest has made me. Oh - this is another blog that will make you belly-laugh at least once a day - that is, if you like a good belly-laugh, which I do.

  4. Okay - this last one just made me laugh and I had to share it with y'all...it has nothing to do with me or my pregnancy, other than I can relate because pregnancy has made me a complete idiot. P.S. I totally stole it from another blog, but whatev - if you haven't figured out yet that I'm an utterly shameless idea-stealer, then I think you can just go check someone else's honest and scrupulous blog.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

My Burden

The following post has terminology indicitive of my status as a member of the LDS church. If you aren't a member of the church and would like to know the meaning of some of the words I use go here and/or here.

Yesterday I had a mini breakdown. Remember when I said that I was going to have a happy pregnancy and that I was going to have a good attitude about bed rest? I think I've done a pretty good job with both of those tasks, but yesterday was just one of those days. I found myself saying words I've heard my mother use over and over again..."I can't live like this anymore!!!" When my mother used these words, she usually meant her house was way too messy - well that was the reason I used those words yesterday. My pregnancy horemones give me anxiety over a few messy dishes in the sink or a disorganized countertop - either that or I'm just an anal clean freak (it's most likely the former). I started thinking about it though, and began to feel the heavy burden this pregnancy has been. I knew I had reached a breaking point and that I was ready to be done with all of the trials I've been enduring over the last 9 months. It reminded me of a lesson I learned not too long ago.

I've said before that I thought I waisted my 20 something years waiting. I was waiting for my eternal companion to come along, waiting and wondering why God would make me stay single for so much longer than almost all of my friends. I feel like I wasted my time waiting rather than living my life to its fullest potential. Each time I would complain about my single status to my mother, she would always say "You need to give your burden over to the Lord and everything will work out how it needs to work out." I would reply with something like, "But I've already done that so why don't I feel any better?" The fact is that I really didn't fully give my burden to the Savior, I kept a part of it with me, because I was, I think, afraid of letting go entirely of something that had been my companion for so many years, no matter how miserable it made me.

My 30th birthday was one of the hardest days of my life because I thought it was all over. I thought 30 was the point where few, if any, Mormon women had the chance to find the one they would be sealed to forever. After that, I decided to be happy with how my life had turned out and that I would cherish all of the good things life had to offer. Not long after that I had a discussion with my Heavenly Father where I truly gave the burden of my singularity over to my Savior and I felt more happy and liberated than I had ever felt before. I felt light and free from the cross that had held me down for so long. Three months later, my Robbie entered my life, I think, because I had finally learned what Heavenly Father was trying to teach me. I'm not saying that if you're single, this is how to get a man, but it was the way I was finally able to be happy and content with my life.

So there I sat yesterday, feeling the weight and burden of this pregnancy and all I could think of was how tired I was of it all. The sickness, the kidney stones, the ER/hospital visit, the early labor, the gestational diabetes, the high blood pressure and the scare that all of this may affect and/or harm my baby. I can't say it's been easy to bear - in fact it's been down right difficult and yesterday I didn't feel like I could endure any longer and wondered why the Lord chose me to deal with it all.

Then I started to think about my discussion with Heavenly Father a few short years ago and I remembered that I learned that lesson for a reason. Being single wasn't the one last burden I would ever have to bear in this life. There would be others, many others and the lesson I learned would need to sustain me through all of them. So I know it's time, again, to get on my knees and have another discussion with my Father to, yet again, hand this burden over to my Savior. If I didn't, wouldn't his death and atonement for my sins and afflictions be in vain? This is why He came to this world, to be the one perfect being who could suffer and atone for all of us. He is the reason why we don't have to "live like this anymore." The only one who could truly understand and empathize with all of the trials and suffering that come with being alive. I can only say now that I am grateful for the knowledge that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that I always have someone to go to when I feel my load is too heavy to bear.