BREAKING NEWS - CONSPIRACY REVEALED

NEW YORK,NY Upon further investigation into the US Airways flight 1549 crash, new information has been obtained through anonymous sources. According to these sources, the Suicide Afgeesenistani Terrorists have brought down US Airways flight 1549, not innocent and freedom-loving geese. This information has been covered up by the US Government.

Using technology obtained from Hamas in the Geeza-Isreal engagement during the first few weeks of 2009, the terrorists have utilized Technical and Avian Armaments (T&A’s) that include stealth camouflage technologies which stimulate native migratory birds. In its infancy, this technology was limited in attack to land bound slow-moving objects.

Top secret footage has been acquired through connections with current and former American officials, outside experts, international nuclear inspectors and European and Israeli officials. This footage, as shown below, was known to be in the hands of terrorists ever since the 7 day Canadio-Hamas incident on the small Canadian fishing village of Gloznok in the early 1960’s. Though not to the level of technology that took down US Airways flight 1549, the following T&A was in its infancy and was limited directly to civilian and small land based vehicles.

The reality is that the military industrial complex of the Arab states has been hard at work and has now perfected attacks against US Military personnel and aircraft with the use of seagulls. This attack was sporadically documented by MTV in the 1980’s during the pop-music era. Legitimate media coverage was never given to the American public but was only encountered in covert Cold War operations via subliminal messaging throughout Asia, Europe, Africa, South America, Australia, North America, and Antarctica.

As seen above, this revelation of the new domestic security steps taken, according to George Bush, to “protect the homeland from the Axis of Evil,” seem to be nothing more than propaganda of the US Government to cover up the problem. This proves the theory that not only terrorist seagulls, but also terrorist geese are attacking our nation and its citizens at the full knowledge and participation of the US Government.

America is Under Attack!

*Hamas has refused to comment on this exclusive photo of US Airways Flight 1549 prior to release*

Editors Note: I, Em-Cat, am known as a field contributor/editor in the above article. My husband has been working on this piece for at least 36 hours straight, and even though it may be only funny in his head, it's been absolutely delightful to hear him giggle every 30 to 60 seconds as it has made its way from his brain to the page.