Sunday, October 28, 2007


I'm a brat...Melissa and Cecily, I'm doing this against my will. Hey - at least I'm doing it. And YES I know that it's been far too long since I've posted. What can I say? I have a life!

I don't know enough fellow bloggers to tag back, so I'm just going to tag as many as I know. Too bad...I'm sure some meteor will smash down on me for breaking the rules of this tag, but hey - I'm taking my chances.

Ok, stuff about me...let's see:

  • After an amazing concert filled with middle-aged lunatics, I followed Neil Diamond to his hotel in downtown SLC. We weren't sure we had the right place until we saw the bell boys running around outside and the security guards getting everything ready at the elevators. A big bus arrived outside and one by one Neil's band filed out...And then I saw him...he had a hat on (the one that paper boys used to wear in the 1920's), big dark sunglasses (even though it was 10 at night) and he was smoking a big old stogy. My friend and I (who was also 21 at the time) started jumping up and down and crying and yelling "Neil! Neil! I LOVE YOU!!!". He couldn't keep his eyes off us (probably because we were the only women there under the age of 45) and pointed at us and said in his smoker, sexy raspy sort of way,"I love you too babe" and blew us a little kiss. The only thing that made it better was that the security guard that shielded us from Neil kept saying that he was going to "escort" us out if we got any closer...OH...and I ran into his bongo drummer after the hubub died down and he obliged me with a hug.
  • I can do a cartwheel in a skirt without showing much skin...I learned that in Uruguay. Imagine an Uruguayo peering out his/her window and seeing this crazy gringa missionary doing cartwheels in a skirt...No wonder no one wanted to listen to me...
  • I once dated the Utah State Yo-Yo Champion...a very black spot in my dating career.
  • I can do excellent impressions of an Indian call, a gorilla call, a monkey call and my mother...not that she sounds like an Indian, gorilla or monkey.
  • I used to clog when I was little and can still do the dance we did to "What A Feelin'" from Flashdance...though I think this version is much better than the one I danced to:

  • I'm totally addicted to my husband...the poor guy can't use the bathroom without me poking my head in and saying "Whacha doin?" But isn't he so cute? It really makes me happy things didn't work out with the yo yo guy.


  • I'm a daredevil - I've jumped off cliffs, traveled to Europe alone, water skied barefoot, I'll try any food or non food put in front of me - regardless of the color or smell...the one thing that freaks me out though is that moment before I get in front of an audience to sing...I become a mess and almost wet myself.
There you have it...7 things about there! I tag:

Shana, Sabrina, Katie and Catherine

Have fun girls...and just do it - there's no getting around these things.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Is it really all about being healthy? some it is, to other's it's about putting on a show.

Does anyone know what a "Health Nut" is? Have you ever seen one? What is the definition of a "Health Nut"? I've checked and even the Urban Dictionary and neither seem the be the wiser. I'm on a quest to define this term.

The Proverbial Health Food Shopper

If you haven't already guessed, I live my life bouncing around from health food store to health food store. It's amazing how people think you're more informed than their doctor...wait...I am more informed than their doctor...anyhoo...People are always coming up to me asking questions and when they find out that I'm a rep - well - let's just say I become "Super Doctor Emily" - knower of all knowledge and ailments. People are always asking me questions about what they should take for this, and what they can do about that...

Most often it's someone who is looking for something to help with their bowel movements...I'm not sure if I really want to go into details here, but it's amazing how open people are about what occurs after they stand up, wipe and look into the the cold porcelain abyss (aka the toilet). I'm not even phased now when someone begins a sentence with..."I know this sounds gross, but..."

I've become did this happen? It all started with the following story.

Long before I became a rep, I worked customer service at a company that should remain nameless...not because I'm worried about confidentiality...I just don't think they deserve to be named. One day, I unwittingly answered a call and the conversation went something like this:

"Nameless Corporation That Doesn't Deserved to be Named, this is Emily how may I help you?"

"...uuuuuuhhhhhh...I thought a guy would answer..."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I wanted to comment on one of your products but I'm a little embarrassed to tell this to a girl. Is there a guy there I can talk to?"

"Hmmm...let's see. There's one guy who works in this department, but he just stepped out. Is there something you'd like to tell me? I promise I won't laugh and I'll write down your comment so our executives can take a look at it. They always want to know feedback from our consumers."

"Okay, if you're sure you won't laugh..."

"I promise sir"

"Well, I've been taking your ViraMax (this is an herbal product, similar to Viagra - P.S. Don't you hate their guys really sit around singing about how they can't get it up) and I tell you - it works SO WELL!!"

"That's great sir."

"I mean, it's not like I have a problem in that area or anything."

"Of course not..."

"But, after I took your product, my Little General stood right at attention!"

"Your 'little general'?"

"That's right...I was so proud of him I almost shed a tear."

"...You shed a that general with a capital 'G'?"


(More "Health Nut" stories to be continued...)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


Grandma and Emily circa 1977

On the evening of October 9, 2000 I walked into a hospital room to be with my grandmother as she died. Almost all of her family members were at her side. Before she slipped into a coma, she couldn't seem to believe that so many of us were there and had remembered to be with her at this time. A bit of remorse filled my heart when I heard this. I should have spent more time with her. I hoped that she knew how much we all loved her.

My brother Don had previously given her a blessing. He told her it was all right to die. We knew we would see her again. He told her that grandpa was "anxiously awaiting [her] arrival."

As we stood in the room surrounding Grandma's bed, our grandfather's presence was felt so keenly that each of us knew that this family would remain bound together even after this life. We had all been taught this simple truth, but somehow, this experience solidified it. My Grandpa's presence was so real that I thought if I turned my head a certain way, I'd see him standing there, smiling back at me. I knew I needed to do whatever I could to stay faithful and and progress in every way possible so that I could be with my family forever and one day see Grandma again. She enriched my life so fully and every single member of the family was blessed to have known this amazing woman.

As Grandma drew closer to death, her breathing became more and more labored. I felt like she was holding on to her last chance at life. Everyone in the room began to cheer her on and tell her that it was all right to leave us...we would see her again. All of a sudden she became peaceful, her breathing calmed and it was almost as if a light shone round her body...and then she was gone. Her spirit lingered there for a moment. Encircling each of us in her love, whispering to everyone how how happy she was to be our mother, our grandmother, our sister.

I leaned in to give her one last kiss and to tell her I loved her. Her body was cold, but I knew she was close by.

Grandma's sister was in the waiting room with her daughter. Aunt Kay had Alzheimer's Disease and didn't fully understand what was going on, but she insisted on being with her sister. She went into grandma's room where she was told that grandma had passed away. She quietly sat down next to grandma's bed and began stroking her hair. As she stroked and stroked she didn't say a word. All of a sudden her stroking became a little too much and grandma's eyes popped open. Everyone in the room was a little startled by this, but Aunt Kay got a big smile on her face and said, "Well, hi honey!" Amidst all the tears we had a good laugh. Grandma...I know you were laughing too!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


My life goes on in endless song
Above earths lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear its music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from Singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
And though the darkness round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from Singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear
An hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging,
When friends by shame are undefiled
How can I keep from singing?

Traditional Shaker Hymn

I was listening to NPR the other day and Martin Sheen was on "Prairie Home Companion" he sang the above song to show his support to the people of Burma. I was extremely touched and haven't been able to get the song out of my mind since. I pray for the Buddhist Monks who desire freedom for their country and people.

One journalist editorialized on the subject.

"It takes a lot to make a Buddhist monk mad. That's one of the reasons why the image of thousands of them marching through the streets in Burma, protesting their lives under decades of brutal military rule, has sparked such international outrage.

"And maybe that's one of the reasons why the thugs that rule Burma don't want the world to see pictures of their response: The monks' dead bodies floating in the river, rotting in the jungle, and fallen in the public square." (Editorial, San Francisco Chronicle, pg B6)

These atrocities are appalling to us as freedom-loving Americans. But I pose these questions for you to think about. Are we as Americans, who love democracy and fiercely defend it when faced with opposition, really free from governmental restrictions? Do the laws of today truly reflect what our inspired forefathers envisioned? Are our leaders really upholding the inspired Constitution of the United States of America? Does the federal government have too much power, when the constitution gave power to each individual state? By removing God from our schools, public meetings and government, are we leading ourselves down a path to destruction?

These are things I'm constantly thinking about and would love to read your opinion...