Hangin' with my little J-Dawg

Disclaimer: Recently, I was put on bedrest for the final trimester of my pregnancy by a very wonderful doctor who wants nothing more than to bring our little person into this world safely and in a healthy state. This is my tribute to bedrest and a healthy baby.

For the past week and a half, I've seen the world very different ways:

1)Looking up at the popcorn ceiling of my apartment. When I was a little girl I would look up at the ceiling in our house and find different shapes of animals and people. I would imagine stories about them and would wonder what they did to get stuck in a ceiling (they must have been naughty and were placed in a ceiling rather than on good solid ground :-)). There's a spot on my ceiling that isn't very popcorny and if I look really closely I can see some of the beams that hold up the floor of the apartment above me. I don't see any shapes of animals or people and haven't been able to imagine situations. This makes me kind of sad that I've become an adult and no longer have the childish imagination of my youth. Who knows maybe it's hiding in there someplace and I've just got to find it.

2)Even though I don't have a veiw of the street, I can see the world go by as I lay here slightly elevated on my left side. Just a few minutes ago I saw a squirrel running along the highest point of the garage roof just opposite from where I'm laying. The tree outside my window is changing colors - even though I live in the land of eternal sunshine. I find myself forever grateful for that tree. It's yellow dying leaves make me smile and help me to understand that there is a cycle to every life, that changes happen and that there is always a spring around the corner where our lives will be beautiful, green and new - though never the same.

3) There is kindness in others that I never could have imagined. I'm so lucky to belong to a church where service and unconditional love is one of the most important foundations. It can be pretty lonely laying here day after day with no one to talk to - especially for this little social butterfly whose happiness completely depends on her ability to chat and talk and build relationships. I have an amazing visiting teacher who has stepped up to the plate and has arranged for women in the ward to visit and chat with me and to bring me dinner. I have had the most wonderful experience getting to know women who I haven't had the chance to say more than two words to. I've been able to chat with friends and get to know them so much better than I would have had I been able to continue on with my daily routine of hitting the pavement every day to sell, sell, sell. To my dear Cheyenne - you are truly an Angel sent to me from Heaven and have made this experience more delightful than I could ever imagine.

4) My husband really is the best thing that could have happened in my life. I honestly don't know what I would do without his funny jokes to keep my spirits up or his uncanny ability to calm my nerves when I'm about to succomb to the "CRAZY PREGNANT LADY" waiting to break out and cause utter mayhem. He tells me all the time that he loves me and that he loves to serve me. He is willing to sacrifice so many things to spend time with his "best girl." He is willing to clean the bathroom, do the dishes, the laundry and all the cleaning just so his little "clean freak" doesn't break down into one of her episodes (Who me? NEVER!). His blue eyes, his red dot and his amazing smile never cease to make the butterflies in my stomach flitter every time I see him. I hope you all have your own personal Robbies (or the prospect of one), they make life liveable.

5) I'm begining to understand what it really means to sacrifice and to love this little guy growing inside of me. I would do anything for my little Dawg. I wake up in the middle of the night to feel his gentle kicking and I take comfort that he's growing big and strong. I'm so grateful for the miracle of life - because my little J-Dawg is my miracle. I can already sense his personality and that he's going to be a vivacious, wonderful, amazing person. I feel such gratitude that I can be a part of his life.

I've decided that bed rest isn't a total tragedy, though it is difficult for me to be laying down for twenty-four hours a day. I'm taking this time to see the beauty in it, because honestly it is beautiful to be a mother and to do all you can to help your children safely enter this world. I think of all the things that he is going to have to go through just by growing up in Southern California and ask myself "Is it worth it?" My answer Yes it is! - he has every right to come to earth and to gain a body and to go through all of the trials and messes that this life throws at us. What a wonderful time to be alive and to help bring a life into the world!