Too Bad We Didn't See THIS Last Night

Don't you just love...

...the ECONOMY?

Thank you whoever you are...

Can I tell you how much I love my husband? He tells me all the time how pretty I am, even though I feel like an enormous BEACH BALL. Actually, most days I feel more like a BEACHED WHALE. My sweet, wonderful husband will go so far as to point out other pregnant women and tell me how much better than them I look. What a guy! He's really begining to understand what makes women feel good! He really is sweet and I thank him for making me feel like I'm the most loved woman in the world.

Some days, however, it's hard for me to really feel pretty. I have a friend, who I just love, but whenever I tell her I feel like a beach ball, she agrees with me and then points out how big my ankles look. I know it's my fault for even mentioning it, but...are you kidding me? You don't say stuff like that to an emotionally b#%chy pregnant woman! Show a little compassion! For the most part though, people are usually pretty nice and tell me how good I look. These are usually people I know and deep down in my soul I feel like they're just saying those things to make sure I don't fall apart and start crying. In other words, I don't really believe them.

Well, today I was in the grocery store and went through the self check-out. Hello! Big mistake. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I should've let a trained professional scan my groceries, but I thought I'd save time. HA! Like that ever happens. I need to learn my lesson. Anyhoo...I was having a *&#$ of a time getting the computer to stop telling me I had to wait for the attendant or coming anywhere close to finding the code for garlic. **Note to self: don't use the self check-out if some of your groceries don't have bar codes** The "attendant" had to come and bail me out like 12 times.

When I thought I was about to lose everything from my cool to my maternity bra, the attendant asks me "So, how far along are you?" Oh no - my eyes begin to roll and I brace myself for what's coming! I sigh and tell her I'm about 6 months. I was expecting to hear what I usually hear..."Oh my goodness, I can't believe how big you are!" or "Wow! Now that's a big baby!"...in other words..."Holy crap you remind me of a beached whale!" But for once, in the 20 years I've been pregnant, I hear something like this..."Oh - that's so exciting! Is this your first? You are going to love being a mother. You look absolutely gorgeous!" She then went on to tell me how much fun boys were and that her first child was a boy and she wouldn't have it any other way, but before I walked away she made sure to tell me one more time how beautiful I was.

Stunned, I gathered up myself and my cart and headed toward the door. Slowly, a little smile crept on to my face. I couldn't comprehend what just happened. I actually believed a complete stranger when she told me that I was a beautiful, glowing pregnant woman. This was truly a break-through.

I've tried to have a better attitude about being pregnant, and for the most part...I have. I just haven't quite come to terms with my ever changing and expanding body. But thanks to the lady at Ralph's, I'm begining to really believe that big is beautiful.

Thank you Ralph's lady...you have no idea how much I needed you today.

And the weiner is...

It looks like I have a bunch of crazies who read this blog. I've submitted my Whale of a Story for review to the editors of the blog book. Wish me luck! Hopefully they want stories of whale dorks (aka whale pee pee's) in their nice "family" publication. Thanks to all 12 of you who voted! I'm glad I have readers - even though your numbers are sparse. Maybe I'd have more readers if I posted more often...hmmm...Now there's a bright idea to think about!

Am I Funny?

No...seriously...am I?

I've been pondering this question for days now. I personally think I'm hilarious, but that doesn't mean y'all do. Take this post for instance...you know the one where I announced that I got a little su'm su'm cookin' in my oven...as I wrote the post and as Robbie helped me with his incredibly super-fantastic-FREAKING-AWESOME photo-shop skills, we laughed so hard that I think I seriously burst my colon - I swear, my digestion hasn't been the same since. I mean, it was HILARIOUS guys...to us. We had images of people reading this post in our heads...we beamed as we imagined people laughing so hard they were falling off their computer chairs, we applauded ourselves when we imagined people getting stomach aches from how funny we thought we were.

Then the comments** started rolling in..."Congrats - you guys will be great parents!" or "Oh - morning sickness sucks I hope you feel better...yawn" or "Yay for you guys!...sigh I think I’m going to go read War and Peace." I actually had an anonymous sister ask another anonymous sister if Robbie really thought he was an amazing photo-shopper!!! HELLO! She actually was worried he was going to try to get into the Photo-Shop biznass or something. My own flesh and blood doesn't even get me!!!

**These "comments" have been changed to protect the innocent...and for comedic effect...not that it matters.

I think we had two comments regarding our hilarity. I guess I shouldn't expect the outcome to be as funny to all of you as it really is in my head. Oh if you only knew the goings on in my head…it would shock you! I guess my dreams of stand up are ruined.

So I have a preposition for you (p.s. preposition is my funny little way of saying proposition) I need my ego to be stroked. There’s this little publication I’d like to be a part of. It’s an opportunity to be a published in a blog-book that benefits the Nie Nie Recovery. I became interested in Nie Nie's story on another blog I check often. The blog book is going to consist of several funny blog posts (all being submitted by fellow bloggers) ranging from chuckle-funny to holy-cow-I-just-peed-my-pants-funny.

What I'm asking of you, my blogging lovelies, is to vote on a past post that's worthy of entering this most noble and worthy cause. I know there are a few of you stalkers out there who are a little bashful at commenting about ANYTHING on any blog out there, so I'm going to make it easy. You see the section over there to your left that says "Pick My Funniest Post"? Just click on a little button to the side of the post you think is the funniest and viola, you've contributed without so much as a click of your mouse. Contest submissions need to be in by September 30th so I'm closing the polls at exactly 9pm September 28th. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!!! I haven't been able to contribute to Nie Nie yet and I really want to...what better way than to use my SKILLS!?

Here is a list of posts to choose from:

Traffic School

Is it Really About Being Healthy?

A Whale of a Story

Guys Pay Attention to Me!

That's Right Folks...

If you want to participate in the contest go HERE...if you'd like to contribute to the Nie Nie Fund go HERE...Oh and if you want to find out what happened to Nie Nie check out her blog and her sister's blog.

I can't wait to see what you choose! I love you all...even though you don't think I'm THAT funny!

9-25-08

I'm so excited I could pee...and in my current state, it's not a difficult thing to do.



It actually happens all the time...sigh...

Oh - and I forgot to post my favorite quote from the deleted scenes from season four:

Dwight: I notice you're wearing open-toed shoes. Since when did you become a whore?
Angela: There are a lot of things you don't know about me.

I swear some of the deleted scenes from season four were funnier than the episodes themselves. Who votes for directors cuts on the DVDs so we can see them uncut from beginning to end? I DO!!!

It's almost over...SNIFF!!!

The above photo is my sister Melissa's 2nd to the last pic on her 365 Photo Blog. For the last year she has taken a picture a day. Lucky for us, this year had 366 days in it because of its leap year status!

At times this project has been a trying feat...just last week I thought she was going to go bald because of the copious amounts of hair she was pulling out due to her frustrations in finding the right photo. I love that she wasn't afraid to express her frustrations on her blog. I've done that and you my fellow bloggers responded with words of encouragement and made me feel much better...I love this little community that we've created and hope that our bonds can continue to strengthen.

If you haven't seen her blog yet please do so now. I promise you won't regret it. When you have a few minutes to peruse through some of her archives, you'll definitely see the growth she's had over the last year.

Melissa, you're an amazing photographer and an even better sister. I'm so proud of you and can't wait to see what else you have in store for your blogging family! I love you!

That's right folks...

So I get this comment on a previous post from a friend of mine that I'd lost contact with. She didn't know I had a blog or that I was pregnant - in fact, I hadn't talked to her since my wedding over a year ago. She mentioned that she wanted to know what I was up to, so she "Googled" me. Interesting word "Googled." It can have so many meanings - actually, no, it only has one meaning, but I think it's funny that it's been incorporated into American Terminology. It's like free marketing for the worlds biggest search engine...like they need more exposure.

I always figured that if I could be "Googled" I'd have to be Angelina Jolie or Katie Holmes or at least have regular appearances on OMG or TMZ or something. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would show up on a Google search.

During my single years I Googled my maiden name and never really found anything. I was happy about that. Confident in my remaining semi anonymous in the world. Even when I started this blog, I didn't want to use my name because - Who wants their personal info to be plastered all over the web? OK - maybe some of us do, BUT I DIDN'T!!!

You could imagine my gut reaction when I read my friend's comment. No - I didn't just sit there saying - "Cool, I must be super popular since my friends can find me just by typing my name into a search engine." - NO! C'mon folks! There are crazies out there! You don't want them tracking you down and stalking you when you go to the mall or the post office or to the bathroom! I immediately Googled myself...using my married name this time. I didn't just find nice little me listed on a post of someone's blog (OK I found one link that had me on a post of someone's blog) -

NO! It looks like....well...um..........................................................

I'M A PORN STAR!

YIKES!

OK - so I'm not a porn star, but some chick with my name is and It's really FREAKING ME OUT!!! ME! Who has always been so wholesome and naive. Yes, believe it or not, I'm SUPER naive. Even after I've been married for over a year Robbie has to still explain things regarding the "Birds and the Bees" to me. Things I never picked up while being reared and raised in the Utah Bubble.


That's it...Google is dead to me now...I think I'm going to go eat myself out of a depression...

Ummm...

Ever notice how YouTube has absolutely everything on it? I mean, I totally love it and could spend hours watching things like pug dogs making funny sounds or my favorite comedian at a night club or the leader of Georgia - the country not the state - go absolutely bananas because Russia is bombing his country and he can't control the South Ossetians.

Robbie and I were casually watching a news excerpt regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia and all of a sudden the camera goes to the president (mind you, he's the president of an entire country - not the high school glee club) talking on the phone while slowly losing his will to maintain a calm and collected look and completely succumbing to his desire to chew on his clothing. We had to watch it over and over - because I couldn't believe a grown man would actually resort to this - I don't care how stressed out he is. Apparently this conflict is making him revert back to his childhood where sucking on his clothing was a nasty habit he just couldn't shake like wetting the bed or picking your nose - his parents are probably rolling over in their graves or rolling their eyes while watching the evening news.

Who knows maybe the poor guy still sucks his thumb when he's sitting in his bed at night thinking about how he's going to make it through his meeting with Hu Jintao (China's Communist Leader) the next morning. I really feel for him...

And the Flavor is...

So, I bet you're all just waiting to know what flavor of bun that's going to be poppin' out of my oven in about 5...well you're just going to have to wait a little bit longer.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .......................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................... ................................................ ...................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................... ............................................................................................................................ "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me they long to be, close to you!"......................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................................... ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ .......................................................................................................................................................................

All right, all right, all right - I'll quit stalling, but here are a few cute pics first:

This is my little homey sayin' "WAZZZZZUP?"



Whew! My baby has 5 toes...wait! What happened to it's other leg?



We were told our baby would have its Daddy's Lips...OOOOH! So kissable!


And now for the Reese's Pieces...


Lips ain't the only thing this kid is inheriting from his papa!

It's a BOY!!!!

We're so excited to welcome our little J-Dawg into the family! I might go crazy with all the testosterone floating around here, but we're thrilled to have this new little spirit come into our lives. We already feel like a family!

Love,
Em-Cat, Rob-G-Thang and J-Dawg