Ya...I'm 31 weeks and counting. That means that in approximately 9 weeks (give or take a few here or there) I'll be pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something roughly the size of a peach. I don't know about you, but to me - that sounds HELLA...FREAKIN'...SCARY!
I'm getting to the point that I kinda wish I were an Elephant. I'm not talking about being a creature with a long nose that weighs roughly the same as 3 Chevy Suburbans (oh but I'm getting there - don't worry). I'm not even saying that I want a 260 pound baby (that's about how much they weigh at birth). I'm saying that elephants get to wait 22 months until their kiddos are born...that would give me enough time to work on stretching my you-know-what to the appropriate size.
I know - sounds CRAZY! Right? Everyone says I'll get to the point where I'll just want this little alien thing the #$&% OUT OF ME! But for now - I'm having dreams that I'm actually going to give birth to a 260 lb kid and I'm going to rip big time from my you-know-what to my you-know-where...Oi...Why didn't I get a surrogate?
10 comments:
I wish for you labors like mine. I HATE pregnancy but I got a charge out of delivery. I know. That's totally wonky.
But maybe only as wonky as wanting to wait 22 months...
Maybe you'll luck out and have em both c-section like I did.....If you can call that luck!
i had c-section and 2 natural. natural is the way to go (not w/out meds but out the natural hole). talk to your doc. girl? boy? midwife? if you can, you want to push it out slowly and some docs will massage and stretch you out as you go. but if large heads run in your family it might be rough. good luck. whatever happens, you'll survive.
Ok. My post makes no sense...what I meant to say was have him c-section like I had both of mine.
I suggest not having a c-section if it's not necessary. Too big of a risk! Now that the 2nd is coming, I kinda wish I was done with pushing out the 1st and so the 2nd will be easier. To no avail I'm sure it'll be a c-section again. Atleast you will heal a lot faster!!! Back to your comments... You WILL be ready to get him out when it's time. I felt the same way, but the last few weeks you are ready for them to come and I think Heavenly Father prepares you like that. All will be well. Billions of women have had babies and not too many of them had major drugs!!!
All I can say is - YEAH IT'S GOING TO HURT!! But it's worth it in the end. Can I also say "EPIDERAL"(spelling?)
Honey it's more like the size of a grape! :0)
I just thought of a funny. Mom asked her mom (you great grandma) How babies get out, and she replied the same way they got in. lol
Best of luck with that one. I hear modern medicine is the way to go, although you are a pretty strong woman! Look at what you have gone through the last few months!
So sorry, I didn't make it to see you this weekend. We just had so much shoved into a small time period, maybe I will come out and see you after baby makes his arrival!
Naomi - that was hilarious. Great Grandma was such a pill.
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