And the weiner is...

It looks like I have a bunch of crazies who read this blog. I've submitted my Whale of a Story for review to the editors of the blog book. Wish me luck! Hopefully they want stories of whale dorks (aka whale pee pee's) in their nice "family" publication. Thanks to all 12 of you who voted! I'm glad I have readers - even though your numbers are sparse. Maybe I'd have more readers if I posted more often...hmmm...Now there's a bright idea to think about!

Am I Funny?

No...seriously...am I?

I've been pondering this question for days now. I personally think I'm hilarious, but that doesn't mean y'all do. Take this post for instance...you know the one where I announced that I got a little su'm su'm cookin' in my oven...as I wrote the post and as Robbie helped me with his incredibly super-fantastic-FREAKING-AWESOME photo-shop skills, we laughed so hard that I think I seriously burst my colon - I swear, my digestion hasn't been the same since. I mean, it was HILARIOUS guys...to us. We had images of people reading this post in our heads...we beamed as we imagined people laughing so hard they were falling off their computer chairs, we applauded ourselves when we imagined people getting stomach aches from how funny we thought we were.

Then the comments** started rolling in..."Congrats - you guys will be great parents!" or "Oh - morning sickness sucks I hope you feel better...yawn" or "Yay for you guys!...sigh I think I’m going to go read War and Peace." I actually had an anonymous sister ask another anonymous sister if Robbie really thought he was an amazing photo-shopper!!! HELLO! She actually was worried he was going to try to get into the Photo-Shop biznass or something. My own flesh and blood doesn't even get me!!!

**These "comments" have been changed to protect the innocent...and for comedic effect...not that it matters.

I think we had two comments regarding our hilarity. I guess I shouldn't expect the outcome to be as funny to all of you as it really is in my head. Oh if you only knew the goings on in my head…it would shock you! I guess my dreams of stand up are ruined.

So I have a preposition for you (p.s. preposition is my funny little way of saying proposition) I need my ego to be stroked. There’s this little publication I’d like to be a part of. It’s an opportunity to be a published in a blog-book that benefits the Nie Nie Recovery. I became interested in Nie Nie's story on another blog I check often. The blog book is going to consist of several funny blog posts (all being submitted by fellow bloggers) ranging from chuckle-funny to holy-cow-I-just-peed-my-pants-funny.

What I'm asking of you, my blogging lovelies, is to vote on a past post that's worthy of entering this most noble and worthy cause. I know there are a few of you stalkers out there who are a little bashful at commenting about ANYTHING on any blog out there, so I'm going to make it easy. You see the section over there to your left that says "Pick My Funniest Post"? Just click on a little button to the side of the post you think is the funniest and viola, you've contributed without so much as a click of your mouse. Contest submissions need to be in by September 30th so I'm closing the polls at exactly 9pm September 28th. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!!! I haven't been able to contribute to Nie Nie yet and I really want to...what better way than to use my SKILLS!?

Here is a list of posts to choose from:

Traffic School

Is it Really About Being Healthy?

A Whale of a Story

Guys Pay Attention to Me!

That's Right Folks...

If you want to participate in the contest go HERE...if you'd like to contribute to the Nie Nie Fund go HERE...Oh and if you want to find out what happened to Nie Nie check out her blog and her sister's blog.

I can't wait to see what you choose! I love you all...even though you don't think I'm THAT funny!

9-25-08

I'm so excited I could pee...and in my current state, it's not a difficult thing to do.



It actually happens all the time...sigh...

Oh - and I forgot to post my favorite quote from the deleted scenes from season four:

Dwight: I notice you're wearing open-toed shoes. Since when did you become a whore?
Angela: There are a lot of things you don't know about me.

I swear some of the deleted scenes from season four were funnier than the episodes themselves. Who votes for directors cuts on the DVDs so we can see them uncut from beginning to end? I DO!!!

It's almost over...SNIFF!!!

The above photo is my sister Melissa's 2nd to the last pic on her 365 Photo Blog. For the last year she has taken a picture a day. Lucky for us, this year had 366 days in it because of its leap year status!

At times this project has been a trying feat...just last week I thought she was going to go bald because of the copious amounts of hair she was pulling out due to her frustrations in finding the right photo. I love that she wasn't afraid to express her frustrations on her blog. I've done that and you my fellow bloggers responded with words of encouragement and made me feel much better...I love this little community that we've created and hope that our bonds can continue to strengthen.

If you haven't seen her blog yet please do so now. I promise you won't regret it. When you have a few minutes to peruse through some of her archives, you'll definitely see the growth she's had over the last year.

Melissa, you're an amazing photographer and an even better sister. I'm so proud of you and can't wait to see what else you have in store for your blogging family! I love you!

That's right folks...

So I get this comment on a previous post from a friend of mine that I'd lost contact with. She didn't know I had a blog or that I was pregnant - in fact, I hadn't talked to her since my wedding over a year ago. She mentioned that she wanted to know what I was up to, so she "Googled" me. Interesting word "Googled." It can have so many meanings - actually, no, it only has one meaning, but I think it's funny that it's been incorporated into American Terminology. It's like free marketing for the worlds biggest search engine...like they need more exposure.

I always figured that if I could be "Googled" I'd have to be Angelina Jolie or Katie Holmes or at least have regular appearances on OMG or TMZ or something. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would show up on a Google search.

During my single years I Googled my maiden name and never really found anything. I was happy about that. Confident in my remaining semi anonymous in the world. Even when I started this blog, I didn't want to use my name because - Who wants their personal info to be plastered all over the web? OK - maybe some of us do, BUT I DIDN'T!!!

You could imagine my gut reaction when I read my friend's comment. No - I didn't just sit there saying - "Cool, I must be super popular since my friends can find me just by typing my name into a search engine." - NO! C'mon folks! There are crazies out there! You don't want them tracking you down and stalking you when you go to the mall or the post office or to the bathroom! I immediately Googled myself...using my married name this time. I didn't just find nice little me listed on a post of someone's blog (OK I found one link that had me on a post of someone's blog) -

NO! It looks like....well...um..........................................................

I'M A PORN STAR!

YIKES!

OK - so I'm not a porn star, but some chick with my name is and It's really FREAKING ME OUT!!! ME! Who has always been so wholesome and naive. Yes, believe it or not, I'm SUPER naive. Even after I've been married for over a year Robbie has to still explain things regarding the "Birds and the Bees" to me. Things I never picked up while being reared and raised in the Utah Bubble.


That's it...Google is dead to me now...I think I'm going to go eat myself out of a depression...

Ummm...

Ever notice how YouTube has absolutely everything on it? I mean, I totally love it and could spend hours watching things like pug dogs making funny sounds or my favorite comedian at a night club or the leader of Georgia - the country not the state - go absolutely bananas because Russia is bombing his country and he can't control the South Ossetians.

Robbie and I were casually watching a news excerpt regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia and all of a sudden the camera goes to the president (mind you, he's the president of an entire country - not the high school glee club) talking on the phone while slowly losing his will to maintain a calm and collected look and completely succumbing to his desire to chew on his clothing. We had to watch it over and over - because I couldn't believe a grown man would actually resort to this - I don't care how stressed out he is. Apparently this conflict is making him revert back to his childhood where sucking on his clothing was a nasty habit he just couldn't shake like wetting the bed or picking your nose - his parents are probably rolling over in their graves or rolling their eyes while watching the evening news.

Who knows maybe the poor guy still sucks his thumb when he's sitting in his bed at night thinking about how he's going to make it through his meeting with Hu Jintao (China's Communist Leader) the next morning. I really feel for him...

And the Flavor is...

So, I bet you're all just waiting to know what flavor of bun that's going to be poppin' out of my oven in about 5...well you're just going to have to wait a little bit longer.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .......................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................... ................................................ ...................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................... ............................................................................................................................ "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me they long to be, close to you!"......................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................................... ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ .......................................................................................................................................................................

All right, all right, all right - I'll quit stalling, but here are a few cute pics first:

This is my little homey sayin' "WAZZZZZUP?"



Whew! My baby has 5 toes...wait! What happened to it's other leg?



We were told our baby would have its Daddy's Lips...OOOOH! So kissable!


And now for the Reese's Pieces...


Lips ain't the only thing this kid is inheriting from his papa!

It's a BOY!!!!

We're so excited to welcome our little J-Dawg into the family! I might go crazy with all the testosterone floating around here, but we're thrilled to have this new little spirit come into our lives. We already feel like a family!

Love,
Em-Cat, Rob-G-Thang and J-Dawg

Update and Some Photos...sorry no belly shots yet!

As said in a previous post, July wasn't the best month of my life. I'm usually an extremely optimistic person, but for some reason pregnancy has made me a ball of negativism. Well folks, NO MORE! I've decided that I'm going to enjoy my pregnancy (whether I like it or not). No more complaining that I don't feel better, no more days spent whining that my intestines are going to shoot out of my mouth at any moment, no more crying and sobbing every time I have an exceptionally horrible vomit party in the bathroom (you know...wishing all of this would just go away).

News flash to me..."Honey, you're almost 5 months preggers and you're puking like you're only 2. Get over it and stop being a heaving ball of negativism that you'll eventually end up passing along to your unborn child if you're not careful." The truth is, I may just be sick for the entire 9 months, I might as well suck it up...right?

I've wanted to be a mom since the minute I held my first little Cabbage Patch Doll in my arms and felt so much love and concern for the little ball of plastic, yarn and stuffing. (I also remember Robin Campbell telling me little "Mary Lou" would run away if I kept dragging it around by its piggy tails) Really my dreams are coming true. I do, however, think it's funny how God blesses us with exactly what we've always wanted, but somehow we don't realize the cost of getting it. I think I'm going to love this baby so much more than if I hadn't had a rough go of pregnancy, just because of all we've been through together...the three of us: Me, Baby-G, and Robbie.

So - here you go...What you've all been waiting for: A few pictures detailing my
journey over the last couple of months...drum roll please!

This was the first picture Robbie could snap at me during our trip to the Emergency Room


Here's Picture #2...He told me he wouldn't stop taking pictures until I smiled...Who wants to smile when their kidney feels like someone's repeatedly stabbing it?


And here you have it folks...a smiling Em-Cat in the ER...it was the only way to stop him from snapping the photos.

I'm not sure why I'm putting these horrible shots of me onto the internet, but here you go...I told you I was puffy all over!

And here's one of the first photos of our little tyke...

Don't ever say I didn't give you a full body shot...




It looks like we've got ourselves a little thumb sucker...All my bad habits are going to come back to haunt me...I just know it! ;-)

So there you go...photos and updates. A belly-shot coming soon. Also - FYI - The G-Family Blog coming soon. It's going to be one of those blogs you're going to have to be invited to and have a blogger password for. Even though child predators won't know where I live if I have a blog that isn't password protected, just the mere thought of them being able to see my baby doesn't make me happy...so if you really, really, really want to see more photos, you're going to have to get a blogger password and be super cool cause I'm going to have to invite you to visit my super secret blog. Otherwise, enjoy my sucky writing and vague information.

Bleeding Love...

Sorry...the YouTube video I embedded below isn't available any longer, but it was a great dance!

I promise this isn't going to become a "YouTube" Blog...but don't you just LOVE this dance? I really dig the song as well. I think the reason why I love it so much is because of the story it tells. Both dancers tell the tail of the lyrics to their audience, but seem to be in their own little world at the same time - really feeling every move they make...Sigh...oh to be a dancer! Can you tell I've been addicted to "So You Think You Can Dance" this season?

One &*$%*@ of a Month!

Many of you are chomping at the bit to see more of my pregnant belly. I can't say I'm too excited to show it off. The thing is HUGE! Okay - not so much HUGE as it is ENORMOUS! I can't say I'm happy about the fact. Most girls really start poking out at around 6 months. Well, I look like I'm carrying triplets especially since I'm just over 4 months along and my belly is the size of Rhode Island...literally.

Over the past month I've had comments like:

• "I can't believe your ankles are so swollen already!"
• "You'd better take that wedding ring off before you have to cut it off!" - Too Late! Robbie and I had to cut it off last night.
  
• "Let me guess, you're about 7 months along." When I told him I was 3 and 1/2 months he replied..."Whoa! That baby's going to be huge!"
• "You look just like someone I know and when you walked into the store I thought 'Maybe she just gained some weight or something.'"
• "I don't know how to lose weight...I always had a problem with it...when I was young I looked as big as you."
  

I can't say that I took any of these comments well. Actually, I'm such a ball of emotions that after pretty much all of them I came home and cried. Some days I don't know how Robbie can handle being around me.

Here's the reality: I LOVE my baby and am truly excited to be a mother, HOWEVER, I can't say that I LOVE being pregnant. In fact - being pregnant really SUCKS! When most women either don't have morning sickness or they get over it by the end of their 1st trimester, I happen to be well into my 17th week and still HORK (aka BARF) AT LEAST every 2 days or so. I figure I'm going to be one of those women who will be barfing until the day they deliver. Everything on my body is puffy...I'm just waiting for the gums in my mouth to begin retaining water. Energy went down the toilet at about week 4 for me and it seems like I'm always going to feel like I'm going through menopause - hot flashes are a daily occurrence.

Top all of that off with a horrible kidney infection/kidney stones at the beginning of July, a visit to the emergency room and a 4 day hospital stay...and you get someone who really has no desire to post pictures of herself and even update her blog in over a month.

I hate to be such a downer and I'm so sorry you, my blogging friends, had to read a complaining post, but I thought I'd better explain myself a little. Please know that many photos and updates are coming. I plan to document my hospital stay, kidney problems and all that has happened over the last month as soon as I feel the energy to do so. Just remember though, this blog is meant to be a WRITING blog - not a HERESWHATSHAPPENINGINMYLIFE blog - so expect essays...not a ton of photos. Eventually - when the baby is born - we'll have a Family Blog and you'll be able to see photos to your hearts content. Until then, you have to withstand my sucky writing!