Jay Leno GO HOME!

And I don't even watch late-night TV. I don't know...maybe it's Jay's chin that makes him so UN-funny.

Who are you with?

The Fight Continues...

Say a little prayer for those of us who live in California, won't you? We're still fighting to protect traditional marriage and the battle is far from over. It may never be over. The people have spoken - twice, but that's not good enough for opponents to Prop 8. Go here to follow the defense's progress of Perry v Schwarzenegger and keep them in your prayers. This and this were a couple of compelling and heartening reports on how things are going in the court room. And to my gay and lesbian friends: Even though we disagree on this one little point...I love you and will always be your friend.

Love,
Em-Cat

Dear Mr. GreenBags...cough...Green Peace...cough...cough,

I do have a minute for the environment, but I'm not giving you money or signing my life away to help you get the "numbers" you need to make yourself feel good and your bosses feel good. So can I just ask you to stop chasing me out of the stores I'm REQUIRED to visit for my job? No, you don't have to follow me to my car and yell after me that it's my duty as a citizen of the world for me to save the baby seals of Antarctica and shame on me for not giving $500 to support the cause...cough...pay your salary...cough. Honestly - If I gave $5 to every Joe Green who stands outside health food stores, I'd have to stand at the end of freeway exits with a sign that says "Green Peace Took All My Money."

Environmentally Yours,
Em-Cat


Dear Guy in a Wheel Chair Who Rings A Bell for a Good Cause,

I don't know if you were paying attention to the letter I wrote to Mr. Green Bags, but I have to cross a line so I can give food to my little munchkin who doesn't really like food, but needs to eat anyway. Like I told you before...I visit stores like this all day long and maybe I can afford 25 cents to all the 20,000 stores I see per month, but I can also use that money to pay my rent and feed the beast. So, please don't yell at me and tell me I'm a jerk. Seriously - it won't make me want to give you my quarter because you're being so mean by yelling at me. Not that you need to know - I give to lots of people in need, so don't tell me I'm a cold, un-caring person just because I kept my quarter.

Philanthropically yours,
Em-Cat

P.S. I'm sorry you're in a wheel chair.

Dear Miss Good Cause,

Yes I am a registered voter and no I don't want to sign your petition to give puppies the ability to file suit against their masters for the right to chew all the shoes they want, because it's a natural, carnal desire that puppies are entitled to do because they were born that way. Sorry - I don't feel like giving you my credit card number, social security number or the type of shampoo I use. Oh - and could you remember my face so that when I have to go back and forth from the store to my car (because as a SALES REP that's what I do) various times you don't ask me to sign again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

Mkay...Thanks...bye

Em-Cat

Funny thing...

...my nick name is Em-Cat, but I'm really a dog person. And, glory be to the heavens, so is my offspring. (Please excuse the quality of the video...it's from a cell phone)



P.S. I don't always have time to write new posts but, even if they're one liners, I'm going to try to post much more often. Cross your fingers! I may be eatin' my words in the next little while...I hope they taste like chocolate!

2010 is going to be the BEST YEAR EVER!

Can I just say that my job and I have this love/hate relationship? No? Well I just did and I'm not taking it back. I hate it because of all the corporate hoo hah I have to deal with. I could go into detail, but then I would just be complaining and that would make me the most depressing blogger on the internet. So, you're welcome for being a little more positive with my blogging (just this post - the next one is going to be SUPER depressing).

But I digress...I love my job because of all the diverse and interesting people I become friends with. Yes that's right - I said friends. Most all of my clients are people who I love dearly. I can't say I would hang out with all of them, but they are people I genuinely care about even though we are on two opposite ends of the crazy spectrum.

Case in point:

This afternoon while I was working in one of my stores, I asked one young man how his New Year has gone so far. Now I usually say something like, "How were your holidays" or, "Did you have a good Christmas?" But it just came out like "How has your new year been so far?" It seemed like a pretty harmless and normal question to ask someone.In the ten+ years I have been in the Health Food Industry, I should be used to unusual responses to seemingly normal questions (But really, what is "normal" anyway?). I was still shocked when our conversation proceeded like this:

C - "This year has been absolutely fabulous and you want to know something else? You will be blown away by the things that are going to happen this year."

Me - "OOOHHH! I love your optimism. Tell me what is going to happen this year."

C - "Well, first off space travel is going to be something that everyone is going to be able to experience. We'll be able to visit different planets."

Me - "Er...wow...that's cool."

C - "Yeah - well we've been communicating with aliens since the '50s and this year they're going to make themselves publicly known to us and give us the opportunity to visit their planets."Me - "Uh...he he...that's awesome! I can't wait."

C - "It's going to be amazing. So many good things are going to happen this year."

He then went on to tell me how marijuana is going to be legalized, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah.

Now...the problem isn't that this man believes in aliens. Quite honestly there are a lot of people who do and I'm not going to judge a person based on their core beliefs. I think the problem is me. I don't believe we are communicating with aliens and I don't think there is any chance that 2010 is going to be the year where my husband and I sponsor a little alien exchange student. I actually sat there and pretended like I believed everything he said to me without batting an eye.

Sheesh...I'm such a liar.

Santa Strikes with an Air of Professionalism

Okay - so I'm not one to do giveaways because usually that means I'm stuck following through with something I don't always follow through with. But this time, I think I can actually handle it. You see, I've recently taken up sewing and I really like it (except now that I have 12 gazillion projects to finish before Christmas...now Robbie says the only profession I could handle right now is "Pirate" because of my potty mouth). Anyhoo...if you come up with the world's best caption for the above photo, you will get something fabulous from me! (How RAD is that?)

Here is what we've come up with so far.

"If families are forever, I'm calling it quits."

"First time parents...(Insert MAJOR Eye Roll)"

"EmCat seems to be looking near the camera, but didn't quite make it."

"Happy Hanukkah...I guess we'll be Jewish this year cuz Christmas just isn't working out for us."

On Sabbatical...

Wow - are my calculations correct? Has it been that long since I've posted something?

So aside from - working full time, raising my baby and trying (oh how I try) to be a good wife and mother, getting in a rollover car accident on the way to Lake Powell in August and being admitted to the hospital, being the sole person in charge of the world's biggest promotion for a chain of 40 stores where no one (okay so one person and my husband - Oh How I LOVE YOU Both!) came to my aid - even though I asked and asked, going to the ER for a kidney stone the size of a lima bean (and as dense as my bones) and eventually getting it blasted (I passed peppercorn size stones btw), getting the music ready and performing the Primary Program for Sacrament Meeting and jumping right into getting ready and performing two (yes - you read right) Primary Christmas Programs, singing in the stake and ward choirs with extra rehersals every time I turn around and taking on 5 gazillion crafty projects for Christmas Presents - I've been kind of lazy.

I'm sorry to the two of you who check this blog for not being there for you...I'll be back soon I promise. In the mean time this face might cheer you up!

You know You Love It

...but I totally don't.

I've decided to come out of the closet and let a few things off my chest. I've tried to conform and just go with the flow, but I can't live a lie any longer. No I'm not a lesbian, there are just a few things I can't stand that the rest of the world loves. I gotta be me, I just gotta be me...

Thanks Busy Bee for the idea!

1. Dr. Pepper - What is it with Dr. Pepper. Ugh - this stuff is DIS-GUST-ING!

2. Phantom of the Opera - Do you remember when "Phantom" was all the rage? Yeah - I hated it back then too.

3. Scrapbooking - I know y'all are going to hate me for this, but I can't stand scrapbooking. I think it would be cool if I had the patience to sit down and cut out cute little pieces of paper and arrange them on a page with a photo or two. But, what I don't get is why you would want to put like one photo on a page that could hold like six. Even now - I'm just baffled.

4. Twilight - Okay,to be fair, I haven't cracked the book, but I have seen the movie and I don't get the hype. It was an extremely UN-remarkable movie and I have no desire to read the books. Yeah - don't hate me.

5. "I'm saying a prayer for you and you should send this to 10 people or you'll have bad luck for 7 years" e-mails - I know I'm not the only one who hates "those" kinds of forwards. But my question is this, why do you still send them?

6. Blog Music - Can I just say that I hate, hate, hate music on blogs? No? Well I just did. It just gets in the way when I'm listening to my own music, I click on a blog and someone's blog music interferes with - well - everything! I'm so glad you like your music, but I don't want to have to listen to George Straight or the Jonas Brothers every time I click on your blog. Sorry - I just don't.

7. And last but not least - FACEBOOK - All I have to say is this...Stop inviting me to join - it's never going to happen.

Now it's your turn...What is it that you can't stand that the rest of the world loves?

Time Keeps on Ticking...Kinda Like Turrets

I wish I took the time to WRITE more. I can't seem to find the time to do much of anything these days. Motherhood and a full time job seem to utterly consume me as of late. I'm really trying not to feel overwhelmed...you know...take one bite of my elephant at a time. I find, however, that stress and EmCat aren't compatible bedfellows. We two go together like chocolate ice cream and asparagus OR OJ's hand and a bloodstained glove (the glove don't fit, you must acquit).

The funny thing is that I was completely BORED on bed rest and maternity leave. The minute I was able to go back to work, I was so blissfully HAPPY. I didn't even mind lugging my then 12 lb bundle of joy with me everywhere I went. He was (and is) a super cute diversion to the daily grind of things and has been able to break through barriers that even I, the queen of friend-making and chit-chat, couldn't seem to disassemble on my own. The PROBLEM is NOT that he is now close to 17 lbs and cuter than ever. The problem IS my kid is learning from the master...he has found his lungs and has decided to use them. For some reason he's decided that he needs to make himself known to the world...at the TOP of his lungs. Those of you who grew up with me and went to junior high with me and...okay...high school...oh yeah and college...um...and served a mission with me and...uh...knew me at any other time in my life, know that this girl LOVES a good chat with anyone who will listen or even a nice little song at the top of her LUNGS.

The little DAWG-man has recently decided that his DIAPHRAGM is his new best friend and that he needs to exercise it with so much INTENSITY that one can't help but laugh or be distracted by or not listen to their vitamin rep while she's trying with much passion and heart to sell you some DHA powder because she knows deep down in her SOUL that the DHA powder will stop all wars and create world peace. HOWEVER , you aren't thinking of WORLD-PEACE-DHA-POWDER because the cute baby in the stroller is yelling to get your attention and you'd much rather make funny faces and encourage him in this destructive behavior because he's such a cute little bugger AND who needs World-Peace-DHA-Powder anyhow!?!?!?! So SEE YA AROUND vitamin-girl-with-the-very-cute-extremely-loud-baby.


Oi...I'm tired.

Here's a little taste of his cuteness...this doesn't even begin to illustrate how loud he truly is!

Living With My Addiction

As the work day winds down, my phone buzzes with a text message from Robbie saying..."3 more stops" or "1 stop then I'm getting gas. Be there in 45" or "2 more stops. I can't wait to see you." Every time I get a message like this my heart leaps and the butterflies begin. I truly am excited to see the man I had lunch with just a few short hours earlier. Those few hours without him were utter agony.

When Robbie is home I tell him I love him 147 times in a normal day and 376 times on days I'm feeling extra sentimental. While he sits at the computer typing his e-mails I put my arm around him, kiss his neck and inhale a little bit of his scent. When he's laying in bed fast asleep I snuggle up to him until he gently asks me to give him a little space so he can sleep.

What can I say...Robbie is my heroine.

It's hard to say when this addiction started, but I could probably pinpoint it to the time he walked straight over to me and introduced himself. I'd like to think that I caught his eye while standing in a sea of cute, single, Mormon girls. But I was the only girl in a group of Lord-of-the-Rings-Loving Nerds. He had no choice but to think I was cute. He had to ask me out that night. If he hadn't, he would have had to admit that he was like the rest of the guys in the group - so preoccupied with Star Wars that they wouldn't really notice a girl unless she was wearing a long white robe and a braided doughnut on each side of her head.

Since that time I was able to brainwash him into thinking it was a good idea to kiss me. After that - he had no choice but to marry me...I am, after all, the best kisser this side of the Mississippi.

For some reason, he's been able to live with my addiction for the last two years. He doesn't always understand why I am the way I am, but he loves me anyway. I'm in awe of this man who loves me despite all my crazy little idiosyncratic ways. He is patient, kind and above all an amazing husband and father. J-dawg lights up every time he walks into a room.

Happy (First) Father's Day Robbie. Here's to many more years of you having to live with my addiction.